Single Gender or Coed Camp Experiences?

How do parents choose between a single gender or coed wilderness experience for their children?

When selecting a wilderness program for their children, parents have to choose between single-gender or co-ed programs. This can be a tough decision, especially since many young people have strong feelings on the subject. “There are benefits to both kinds of experiences,” says C.G. Stephens, Director of Northwaters Wilderness Programs in Temagami, Ontario. “Some young people will do well in either a co-ed or a single-gender setting.”

But according to Kate Gardoqui, educator, trip leader and co-designer of the Northern Lights Program for girls and young women at Northwaters, the reality is that many children benefit from having a grounding in a single-gender program before moving on to participate in a co-ed experience. “Children do some really hard work on themselves as they move into adolescence,” says Gardoqui. “This is the period when they figure out who they are. It’s the time when they identify their likes, dislikes, dreams and goals.”

“Parents know intuitively that once their children reach the age of 10, 11 or 12, they need to begin having their own experiences,” says Stephens. “They need to test themselves – become their own person.” The challenge, he explains, is to find a safe experience to allow for this kind of testing. Native indigenous cultures offer gender-specific experiences for young people as part of growing up. But many average suburban North American kids are not given such opportunities. “At Northwaters, young people learn about the land, each other, and most importantly themselves,” he says. “Our canoe trips are rites of passage.”

“With the passage into adolescence comes confusion,” says Gardoqui. “This is a period where the opposite sex can be particularly distracting. Young people can benefit from the opportunity to first develop confidence and skills in relating to their peers in a single-gender setting. They can later take that confidence into a co-ed setting.”

“Competing with other boys for a girl’s attention often results in posturing,” says Stephens. “When girls are around, boys can go from feeling confident about themselves to being concerned about how they are being perceived. The stakes are not as high when you are learning how to have a relationship with someone of the same gender.”

“Similarly, if a boy is around, a girl’s energy can end up being focused on surface things like appearance,” says Gardoqui. “But in an all-girl setting, worries about surface issues disappear. The girls relax and spend time on their inner selves. In a co-ed setting, girls with no wilderness tripping experience might give up quickly and let a boy take over. While on an all-girls trip, they are forced to try harder to complete the task on their own. If another girl steps in to help, she steps into the role of rescuer – a role she may have never played before.”

“In a single-gender setting, kids are free to exist as human beings,” asserts Gardoqui. “For example, girls do not have to act ‘feminine’ when they are on an all-girls trip. In fact, they can try out traditional ‘masculine’ behaviours like toughness or pushing your physical limits with no one around to judge them. And with the competition for boys’ attention erased, girls find other ways to compete – healthy ways, such as who can paddle faster into a head wind. These girls gain respect for one another. There is a true feeling of shared power on these trips!”

According to Stephens, co-ed social dynamics can be completely different. “It is very rare for teenagers to have the opportunity to share adventures and physical challenges in a coed group. But working together to meet the challenges of a wilderness expedition helps young men and women learn to communicate effectively and depend on one another in an atmosphere of respect. There is much more material for the staff to work with in the realm of group process,” says Stephens. “There are a broader range of issues and perhaps more emphasis on feelings, relationships and friends. We consider these wilderness experiences metaphors for life. And, obviously, real life is co-ed. Generally, a certain level of maturity needs to be reached before a young person is ready for a coed trip. This often happens at a younger age for girls (usually around age 14) than boys (usually around age 15). Our leaders are excellent role models demonstrating healthy male/female friendships based on respect.”